Nevermine
by That One Eccedentesiast
Summary: He might love her. But she doesn't love him back. That's all that matters. COMPLETE.


**_Nevermine_**

* * *

"Eileen!" A blond head turned and Abraxas grinned. Hurrying over to where his fellow Slytherin stood on the steps, he almost put a hand on her shoulder but was reminded against that course of action with a fierce glare. Chuckling, the teenager hid his hands in his pockets and asked; "...Did you finish that assignment we got for Herbology?"

She frowned and reached between two of the books she was holding. "Here you are," she said handing him a piece of parchment.

He was forced to take it, but he realized she was walking away before he could fold it away. "Hey! Where are you going?!" Waving the assignment, he yelled, "Don't you need this!"

"I have an extra copy!" She called back, continuing in her purposeful walk. The boy smothered a smile with his hand and jogged to catch up to the girl's side. Walking beside her now, he took in the intent way she stared straight ahead and loved her much more for her stubbornness. Any other girl would drape themselves all over him if he paid any of them this kind of attention, but Eileen...she was something else. She wasn't quite beautiful (and hardly pretty) but there was such a poise to her. It was like she saw everything laid out in front of her, from how the sun would rise and set to which way a person would react to finding a toad in their shoe, to what would happen if you added a smidgen of thistle instead of rose petals in a potion.

"Come on Eileen, don't just runaway! I don't want your homework to use, I want to learn it-from you."

Her eyes flick to him bored. "I don't want to teach someone so dull as you," she remarked; nude lips pulled in a sneer.

"Hey now..." Abraxas hissed grabbing her by the wrist. She spun around and slapped him. Holding his face, he stared at her fury bubbling in his stomach. "I'd be careful if I were you Prince, my father's a big man and could make it difficult for that father of yours to keep his permit..."

Unfazed, she nodded. "I know Malfoy," she answered. "Everyone knows what your dear daddy could do...but what can you do?" And it's said with such malevolence that he wonders what he can do. Stepping close, he meets her galaxy gaze and leans his face in close to hers.

"I can do this." And he kissed her. She went stiff, not ever returning or relenting. After a moment, he pulled back and a faint red to his cheeks turned away and walked back into Hogwarts. He missed how she put her fingers to her lips, how her face softened and how she faltered in her next step out into the day's gray light.

* * *

Tucked away in a little cove passing a bottle of Fire whiskey between them Abraxas smirked at the disheveled Prince. "So El, what're yo' goin' to do after school?"

Her eyes wer dulled, but despite all the alcohol in her system; she still managed to speak clearly and concisely; "I'm leaving this fucking world and going to try my hand at being muggle."

"Whatever for?" The other Slytherin asked, mind fuddled but well enough educated to know how dumb the muggles are in comparison. "They're nothin' special." Pushing back her hair, the girl leaned against him and let the glass shatter at their feet. "Hey!" He yelped, trying to dive after it; but she kicked him and so he stopped.

Lifting his stare to meet hers, he was forced to see the sudden half-crazed light her eyes held. "I hear in the muggle world they have different thoughts about things. You don't have to marry the man your father tells you, you can hold a job and be respected, you can have a child and still be a person; you realize it's not like that here always, right? Sure women like McGonagall and Augusta Longbottom have made themselves out to be strong, brave pioneers...but what do they have in common? They're _Gryffindors_ people expect them to be bold and daring-people want them to be. But me? Other Slytherins? They think we're so traditional and all we want to do is marry right. So why would they take us seriously in the job market? They think we're just trying to get at certain men."

"El-" He tried. She was saying too much, she was telling him everything and he knew she was going to regret it.

She in her internal anger dug her nails into his thigh and silenced him with a raised voice. "And most of all what I hate is my _father_ is going to pick my husband! I want to marry no one but the one I love. It's silly to think that such a thing could exist for someone like me but..."

Hammered and just wanting her to shut up before she wasn't the enigmatic girl he'd always thought of her as; he forced himself on her and shoved his tongue down her throat. For a moment, she struggled; but then she began to kiss him back. Wrapping her skinny arms around his neck and fumbling her way up on his lap. Putting his own arms around her waist, he helped her straddle him and began to run his hands up and down her. It was wonderful and everything he'd always wanted.

She was slim, with sharp angles and a pair of tiny breasts that didn't get in the way of being closer. At one point, after several minutes of breathless, sloppy, kissing he slipped his thumbs under the band of her skirt. There he began to toy with it a while and she shifted closer; rubbing up against him. Hardening, he took his hands back and instead put them under her skirt where he began to tug at her panties.

"U-up.." She obliged immediately and he pushed them down to slip his hands into her warmth. She half-shrieked at his intrusion; but settled as he went further and instead brought her hand to rub his erection all the while biting and sucking at his chin.

"Abraxas..." she hummed.

Fighting the need to release, he continued to work at her gaining breathy sighs and squeaks. After a while she threw her head back and truly began to cry out, using his free arm to bring her in; he smothered her shouts and came himself as he felt her body shudder around him. Slumping into each other, her head on his shoulder and his one hand rubbing up and down her bottom as the other entwined in the curls beneath her skirt he felt happy.

He had her now. He had won Eileen Prince and now all he had to do was tell his father to finalize it. Putting a kiss to her temple, he whispered "I love you..."

The girl jerked like she'd been burned. Sitting up straight; she stared at him as if she'd not once laid eyes on him before. "You're my best friend Abraxas," she murmured; "But...but I don't love you like _that_." Looking to herself and at him, she flushed and began to clumsily untangle herself; showing off her white cheeks by accident as she struggled to right her twisted panties. Looking at him with teary eyes, she said; "This was a mistake and I'm sorry," that said, she ran.

Dazed, Abraxas didn't know if she was just frightened or if she truly meant it. Either way, he was too paralyzed to do anything to stop her.

* * *

Graduation was two days away and he hadn't been able to catch Eileen for _anything_ in the past two weeks. But he had to, he wanted-

"What is the meaning of this!?" A familiar voice growled from behind him. Turning around, he nearly dropped his fork at the half-mad Eileen wore. There she stood, eyes hateful and teeth bared in a snarl as she held out a crumpled letter to him. "Tell me Abraxas!" She roared; at his open-mouth silence, she swung. It didn't really hurt but her voice rose as she cried "_What_." Another hit. "_Is_." He thought he had a bloody nose. "_This_!?" Arm raised, he hardly saw one of his yearmmates drag back the screaming vixen as she thrashed in their grip. "I'm going to _kill_ you!" She howled. "_I HATE you_!"

"Ms. Prince! Stop this right now!" One of the professors snapped, having come to the scene. And Eileen? She did something he'd thought she'd never do. She fell to her knees and began to sob like a girl half her age. Face open and vulnerable, she wept. "I thought I could trust you!" And as she cried there on the stone ground making a scene of herself, a teacher pulled her up and guided her away.

"It's alright love," They soothed. "It's okay..."

Sitting there with his bloody nose, he didn't return to reality until one of the Crabbe brothers gave him a handkerchief. "You got some blood," they told him; pointing to their upper-lip. Taking it, the teenager wiped his face and nodded.

"...Thank you."

Coming over, one of the Blacks gave him the letter Eileen had dropped. "Here you are;" she said with a tiny smile. "I can't see why she's so upset, though. That's good news right there."

Taking it, Abraxas skimmed the contents and swallowed back guilty bile;

_Malfoy's father and I have finished our discussion and have agreed that you will do well to be Abraxas's wife. We have set up the wedding for the week after you graduate..._

She hadn't wanted this, he realized. She didn't want to marry him. Eileen didn't _love_ him. It hurt, but maybe...maybe if he proved that they were still friends they could be happy together. They didn't have to have children right away, or even have sex. They could wait, they could-

He stilled. She had told him he hated him. Abraxas didn't know what to do.

* * *

She's the most beautiful she has ever been. Dressed in a long, dragging white dress accented with lace and soft blue ribbons; but her face. It's desolate, smeared and tears run and run from her eyes like she is going to die any moment. Peaking into a room he's not supposed to be near at all, the young man looks to the Portkey he gripped in his hands.

He had to, he had to help her. How could he do this to the person he loved? Force into a marriage she didn't want...maybe if she could leave for a little while, she'd realize he was a good option and come back to him. And maybe she wouldn't. That was the most painful part, her not returning. But...Eileen deserved to be happy. To be with someone she loved just like she'd dreamed of.

Taking a step into the room, she spun around; mouth a perfect little 'o'. "What are you doing here?" She demanded.

"Helping you escape."

She studied him in a guarded way. "Why?"

"I love you." He stated.

"I don't love you," she spat.

Aggrieved, the young man sighed. "I know," Abraxas whispered. "That's why I can't go through with this." Coming over, he curled the little trinket into her hand with a smile. "I want you to be happy-even if it's not with me."

"Abraxas..." she breathed.

He hesitated, but in the end couldn't stop himself. He placed one chaste kiss to her cheek. "Good luck Eileen."

She sniffed and threw her arms around him. Hugging him as she hadn't ever before, carding her fingers through his hair and putting little, thankful kisses to head. "Thank you Abraxas," she whispered. "I'm-I'm sorry I don't love you, but..."

He pushed her away and grinned. "It's okay," he insisted. "I love you and I want you to be happy."

Galaxy-black drowned him for a minute. Then with such a sincere smile, she took the brooch from her neck and gave it to him. "That was my mother's," she explained. "Think of it as a promise."

"Of what?"

Activating the portkey she sent him a last, wistful look. "That I won't forget." Eileen was gone in the next blink.

Taking a breath, the young man head for the party waiting to watch the ceremony. He needed to break the news.

* * *

It was a strange tapping at his window that drew him up from his desk. Frowning, Abraxas walked over to the window to see an unfamiliar owl holding out stationary that was decidedly un-magical. Taking it, the man's brow furrowed as he opened the contents to find something elating. It was a letter from _Eileen_. He hadn't heard from her since-

Well, he didn't like to think too much on that day. Smiling as he read through the letter, he was glad to see what he did;

_...I just married this lovely man, he's so kind! And has a wonderfully scathing humor. He's not much (only a factory worker) and we live with his mother, but she treats me like I was born from her womb just as Tobias was. It's so refreshing to be with people so genuine that they wear their hearts on their sleeves; I wonder if Gryffindors are like this? Maybe Hufflepuffs are a better thing to compare them to. I don't know that you'd like Tobias, but I think you would find him respectable. Or at least I hope you would. However, from one motherless child to another, I think you would love Mary just as much as I do-if not more. She's been so helpful these past twelve months, and an especially useful resource since our little boy Severus was born._

_I have enclosed a picture of him and I if you want to see the little darling. His magic's already strong, just the other day he broke a glass with his fussing; I hadn't realized such tiny thing could do something so powerful! It makes you wonder even more how magic works, doesn't it? I wish I had been able to bring more books with me, but..._

_I am so grateful to you Abraxas. You are a true friend. Someday I hope we will meet again; until then, I love you and wish you all the luck._

_Yours,_

_Eileen Snape_

Gazing at the picture of his ex-fiance bouncing a little baby in her arms, he knew he'd done the right thing. Never had she looked so outwardly happy here in the wizarding world. The muggles must truly be something to bring out such a look on his old friend's countenance. Tracing her face and then the pale one of the infant, he tested the name.

"...Severus. Severus, Severus Snape." He Tilted back and smiled to himself. "It has a ring to it, doesn't it Eileen?" And he would have thought fondly of his first love a little longer if it hadn't been for the knocking at his door. Sitting up and tucking away the letter and photo, he called; "Yes?"

The door opened, revealing his second love. Lucius. "Daddy?"

He got up and came around to scoop the four-year-old into his arms. "What is it love?"

"I want to play outside," he explained with a pout on his cherubic face.**  
**

Laughing, Abraxas danced out the door. "And you need _me_ for that, do you?"

"Of course! I can't play quidditch all alone!" He huffed, wrapping his toddler-arms around his neck.

Kissing his son's face like his own father never had done to him, Abraxas felt more content than he had in years. He lost Eileen, but this little wonder had filled the void and then some; Lucius was his world now.

* * *

The boy is with a man. There is no one else and neither appear to be very happy, but then a redhead joins the boy to drag him off and the frown on his face smooths away. He's skinny, short and not at all handsome; but he isn't ugly either. Watching sadly, Abraxas wondered where his dear friend was. Had the woman died? It was possible (if not likely) only motherless children ever looked so cold.

Fathers were not warm. There were men. Strong. Stoic. Capable. They did not fret, they lived the sink or float approach and children raised by that method often held a crack or two more than the average boy or girl. Tapping his son's shoulder, he pointed out the pale youth.

"He could have been your brother," he said.

Lucius, the perfect Slytherin specimen, raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean father?"

"His mother and I almost married," he explained. "But then she ran away."

His son nodded. "My brother, huh?"

"It's a shame he looks so much like his father."

Eyes trailing after the younger boy, Lucius remarked; "I can keep an eye on him, if you want father."

Squeezing his son's shoulder, he whispered back; "Please."

"Of course," and with a quick smile, his son was off calling out. "Hey! You with the black hair! You dropped something!"

Closing his eyes, Abraxas sent a prayer to wherever Eileen was:

_Please, don't let them turn out like us El._

* * *

**You know, I'd really just like to know what others think of this. So if you have something to say, just say it, no matter how small.**

**Thanks for reading everyone and please review!**

**P.S. If you have time, it'd help a lot if you'd check out the poll I have on my page.**


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